I made chocolate chip cookie bars and they’re baking now. Two cups of chocolate chips is the same as a whole package of chocolate chips. Probably. So even though my least favorite bitch of a 97 year old customer came in and picked on me first thing in the morning, and even though I had over 100 transactions before lunch even, I made chocolate chip cookie bars. So whatever.
Except I just remembered i need to pick up my birth control fuccckkkkkkkk.
18th century calico designs by Irish artist William Kilburn (1745-1818)
Too hot mum
I just used a piece of my own hair to floss Chinese food out of my teeth because I’m too lazy to get up and find real floss in the bathroom.
IT’S A HUMMINGBEE
These are BEE FLIES!
Harmless to everything else, these precious little cutie pies sneak their eggs into beehives, where their larvae can parasitize bee larvae and eat their food reserves!
Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”
"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"
Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock
I bet that is the happiest dog